kymera beyond belief posting starts NOW
we have been watching too many episodes of the Jonathan Frakes hosted, late 90s/early 2000s, funny ghost story show.
many of the stories are actively bad in bad ways. some of them are fucking hilarious. we’re gonna go thru and review some of our favourites. focussing on individual stories rather than episodes, because an episode will always have five stories in it, almost always wildly varying in quality.
spoilers ahead, but like, who cares lol
THE GRILLING GHOST EPISODE
S3E7-4
formally “cook out”
this may be my favourite story I’ve seen in the season and a half we’ve watched so far. “what if your grill malfunctioned and started a massive gas fire?” it asks, “wouldn’t that be fucked up?”. “also what if the gas fire was because the ghost of your dead uncle wanted to protect you from e coli in your burgers due to a food recall?”. totally mindblowingly low stakes ghost story. even better to top it off with “fact. this actually happened to a guy in florida”
bonus image:
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OLD LADY WITCH COVEN
S3E6-5
“the gathering” omg like magic
honestly the acting in this one is just so good. it’s bad and hammy and the four older women are just clearly having so much fun with it. old women hanging out who get home invasion robberied by a guy who knows it’s four old women and still somehow expects to be making out with the big bucks from their purses? they get sent down to the basement and in a shock twist reveal they’re actually witches who pray around a pentagram until various household objects attack him and he ends up unconscious under some cast iron pans and pasta sauce. even better, this one also gets a big whopping FACT at the end.
witches are real. I’ve met them.
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SPOOKY EMAILS
S3E4-1
“email”
this one gets on the list of good episodes for a number of reasons. dude who gets so obsessed with setting up spreadsheets on his new computer he won’t go fuck his wife? awesome. brilliant. asexual king. dudes rock. pausing the video to see the equations on the spreadsheet were: the circumference of a circle, a random selection of algebra/linear equations, and just “EMC2”. literally had me on the floor laughing uncontrollably. also he gets emails in hieroglyphics from the computer’s previous owner who’s trapped in a tomb on an archaeological dig? that’s a pretty good conceit, even if I’m slightly :wonkyface: on the egyptology thing.
this is the only one today that gets labelled “fiction”. even Robert Tralins couldn’t get some guy to claim it happened to him.
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anyway, we’ll post more of these if we watch other episodes we think are worth infodumping about~
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